But how often do you, as students, "flip the script"?
I once had a student wander back down the hallway to my office and knock on the door frame (I never close my office door unless a student needs to talk about something personal). When I looked up from the paperwork I was trying to finish, the student informed me that he was my 11:30 appointment. I asked the student to walk up to our front desk and sign in (we keep track of how many students come through our doors). The student's response was, "that's weird." I told him that he probably had to sign in when he went to his doctor and this was a similar concept. The young man responded, "oh yeah! You're like my academical doctor!"
I like telling this story for a few reasons. First, it's just plain funny--I've dressed up like an "academical" doctor for the last several Halloweens. Secondly, the story illustrates how infrequently we take the time to open up our perceptions to the experiences of others. Imagine you are a student who takes the time and energy to schedule an appointment with your advisor. You had to look over your schedule carefully, you might have had to forgo plans with friends after class. You probably have important questions you need to ask your advisor. Maybe you're concerned because you didn't get on-campus housing for next year. Maybe you are panicking about a bad grade. Whatever your reasons, you deserve to spend uninterrupted time with your advisor. How would you feel if another student wandered back and took your advisor's attention with a "quick" question? How would you feel if your advisor answered phone calls (personal or otherwise) during your meeting? You would probably feel like you didn't have your advisor's full attention and, even worse, that they didn't care about you.
I don't say all of this to scold my students (who generally have a flexible idea about the notion of time). I merely want you to understand why I do the things I do.
When I first started advising, I established very clear boundaries:
1). Never answer the phone while with a student unless it is an emergency (or a Dean is on the phone--and then you MUST apologize to the student BEFORE answering the phone).
2). Always give a student your full attention. You never know when they will disclose something important. That means one student at a time!
3). Respect a student's time: it's just as important as yours. If you are going to be late to an appointment because of a meeting, call and apologize...then apologize again when you arrive. If you are running behind because of another student's appointment, apologize--do not shorten one student's appointment to get caught up!
4). The phrase "open door policy" is literal and figurative. That door stays open, even during lunch. If someone is freaking out, you should be there to help.
I am asking all students (and all advisors) to take a moment and stretch out their empathy feelers a little further than usual for the next week. Before you react to a situation, put yourself in the other person's position.
- If you're angry at a professor for not excusing an absence because you SAID you were sick, take a second and consider that the professor probably hears hundreds of students SAY that--what the professor needs is PROOF!
- If you're angry at your roommate for being in the room when you wanted to be in there with your boyfriend (or girlfriend), consider the fact that your roommate has a paper to write and all of their materials (and their computer) are in the room.
- If you're angry at someone on 95N for driving like a lunatic...no, I'm sorry, there's just no excuse for the drivers on 95.
Let the Empathy Challenge begin!
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