Excuses, Excuses

My students know that I will generally take their side in most situations that pop up during the course of an academic year. For the last six years, I have helped my students through a variety of incredibly difficult personal issues (pregnancies, imprisonment, depression, loss of family members, serious illness...the list goes on and on). When bad things happen to you, it can feel like your world is ending, and school is usually something that goes on the "back burner" until all of your other issues get fixed. I will be the first person to tell you that you have to take care of yourself physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Until you feel comfortable and solid in yourself, you're not going to be able to give as much concentration to your studies as they probably require.

That being said, if you are dealing with these issues, you have to be careful about how you approach your classroom conduct. You may be incurring a lot of absences or a lot of missed assignments. How you deal with these problems will be the determining factor in how quickly you bounce back (academically).

The number one thing you need to remember is to put yourself in the professor's place (scary wardrobe and all). If you had to miss several classes because of a death in the family, tell the professor that...but consider how YOU would react if someone was saying the same thing to you. Don't understand what I mean? Here are some examples of what students say to professors (with legitimate excuses!) and what the professors hear...and then some tips on navigating the situation to the best possible advantage.

Situation 1: You have missed several classes because your grandmother died, you are Jewish so you were required to sit Shiva. During your absences, you missed a quiz and two homework assignments. What Your Professor Hears: blah, blah, blah, dead grandma, blah, blah, blah, not prepared for quiz. Advisor Translation: You need to understand that, while your professor may WANT to be sympathetic to your situation, they have probably been "burned" before. One of my favorite English professors calls himself "the Grandma killer" because he has at least 5 students tell him that their grandmother died right before his final each semester. While we want to believe the best of our students, they often show us their worst. The Big Tip: Your very first step should be to e-mail the professor BEFORE you leave town. I know you're not going to be in the best mental state, but prepare one e-mail and copy each of your professors. Explain that you are going to be out of town for at least a week and will provide documentation when you return to school. It sounds vulgar to say it, but the more documentation you provide to your professors, the better off you are. If you have a copy of your grandmother's obituary or funeral program (the best bet is something that lists you as a surviving relative), you are far more likely to get an "excused" absence!

Situation 2: You have online labs to do for your Psychology class. You have completed each one, but none are showing up on your course Blackboard as having been completed. As a result, your grade for the course is dramatically lower than it should be. You decide to speak with professor about what is obviously a computer error. What Your Professor Hears: Hey, I waited until the last minute to complete my online lab (there is a time limit) and the system cut me off before I could submit--now I can't go back and re-do the lab! Advisor Translation: If your Psychology class is big enough for online labs (our PSYC 101 classes have several hundred students), your professor probably doesn't know your first name and so they don't know if you are a procrastinator or not. You are the only one who knows your study habits...what you need is PROOF! The Big Tip: When you do each one of those online labs, print the confirmation screen. This screen will be date and time stamped and will prove to your professor that the lab was completed in a timely fashion--so if there is any kind of computer error, you have evidence!

Situation 3: You are sick...not crazy, viral pneumonia-kind of sick, but you're sure not feeling good and you have the relative certainty that if you attend class, projectile vomiting will ensue. What Your Professor Hears: Well, they don't hear anything, do they? Because you don't show up to class, your professor assumes you're taking a "mental health day". You will probably tell them later that you were "really, really sick"--they're going to assume you were having a "really, really good time playing Halo." Advisor Translation: Seriously, I can't tell you how many times I've had students tell me they were sick. I once had a student e-mail me to tell me they were sick and then I spotted them outside my office enjoying a beautiful sunny day. Your professors have heard every excuse under the sun...and they've heard it over and over again. Stand out from the crowd (and don't stand out by telling them you have SARS...) The Big Tip: Even if you think you'll be better after a day in bed, for the love of God, go to your University Health Center! They can give you a note that says (if nothing else) "Student A was seen by our clinic on this date." Send a pre-emptive e-mail to your professor telling them that you are sick and will provide them with documentation when you return...but send the e-mail BEFORE you miss class.

Situation 4: You have a giant paper due for your English class and one of the following situations occurs: a) you are required to submit it to the course website electronically and the site goes down or, b) you have to submit a paper copy and you are out of paper or, c) you have to submit a paper copy and you are out of ink for your printer. What Your Professor Hears: I waited until the last minute to do my paper and I just couldn't get it done. Advisor Translation: Seriously, professors hear these excuses all the time. My colleague has actually given the first situation the nickname of "the Internet ate my homework." The Big Tip: I know this is going to start sounding repetitive, but how about a little documentation? If the course website is down, print the error screen that comes up. If you don't have paper or ink, why not e-mail your paper to the professor as an attachment with an apology?

We could go on and on with this, but I'm not writing a book here. If I have one educational philosophy it's this: cover your ass. If you have problems or issues, document everything so you don't get screwed over!