Talking to Professors...

I talk to students...a lot. And in the course of my conversations, I frequently find myself repeating one question over and over again, "have you talked to your professor?" The answer, 99 times out of 100, is a resounding "no". Why? What is it about this one little task that is so difficult, so intimidating that the very idea of approaching this person who is imparting new knowledge?

Maybe I see things a little differently. I went to school at a very small, private university. Our class sizes were ridiculously small (my Intro to Psyc class--the largest class I ever had--had 50 students in it) and the campus was isolated. We knew everyone on campus. I was also in a very small major...and no matter what anyone tells you, it really is easier to talk to professors in Arts majors. You meet and talk to the same people all the time and, quite frankly, we're a very touchy-feely bunch. But maybe things are different at larger schools. Most of my students are sitting in general education classes with 150 other students. It's hard to distinguish yourself...I get it.

Here's the thing: taking one step forward and introducing yourself, making sure that professor actually knows your name...well that makes more of a difference than I can ever completely explain (but I'll give it a shot). Let me ask you this, how are you doing in your classes right now? Is there a class that you could be doing better in? That class is your starting point. Let's go over your game plan...

• Avoid (like the plague) approaching your professor before or after class! Pay attention to the traffic patterns around your prof at these times...there are a hell of a lot of people around him/her, aren't there? Don't be one of the pack! Chances are, your professor is incredibly distracted and is not really likely to pay attention to anything you have to say. I've said it before, and god knows I'll say it again, but READ YOUR SYLLABUS!!! Your professor more than likely wrote down his/her office hours on that delightful little document...so for the love of god, use it! Make an appointment during the aforementioned office hours and keep that appointment (missing an appointment with a professor is tantamount to shitting in their food, please don't do it).

• Know what you're going to say, before you say it. Most students (especially first year students) have a delightful thing called an "academic advisor" at their disposal. This canny creature can be called upon (my god I love alliteration) to create a game plan for all sorts of difficult conversations (i.e. "Mom, Dad, I want to be a Theatre major," and "Hey Dr. Smith, I think I'm failing your class,".) Ask your advisor to walk you through a conversation. A good advisor will actually give you language to use so that you feel more comfortable. Give yourself some talking points. If you think you are not performing up to your potential, tell your professor how you are preparing for tests/quizzes and see if he/she has any tips. Just got a paper back and didn't do so well? Take the paper with you! Familiarize yourself with the comments and discuss them.

• Treat your professor with respect and don't let your emotions get the best of you. If at all possible, avoid calling your professor "dude," or "man" when beginning the conversation. Also, avoid the greeting "yo" preceeding any of these forms of address (you think I'm joking...I once had a student e-mail me an assignment which began "yo what up?") Please bear in mind at all times that this person does control your grade. When I ask that you keep your emotions in check, that doesn't mean "refrain from crying should the spirit move you". I mean that expressing extreme anger over a perceived slight on the part of a professor may not be the wisest course of action. Try to stay calm and avoid placing judgements on grades you have received. I have heard the phrase "my professor hates me!" more times that I care to think about. Unless you killed Professor X's dog, chances are that there is no animosity on his part (please, please, please don't kill your professor's pets. It's just bad juju.)

• Repeat this phrase, "I want to do well in your class." There isn't a professor on this planet who doesn't want to hear this coming out of a student's mouth. Being as clear and forthright as possible and letting your professor know exactly how you're preparing for their class will give them some insight into how much you actually care (even if you don't give a rat's ass about the class). If you're taking the class to fulfill a general education requirement, be honest! Tell the professor that you need the class to complete your degree (avoid the temptation to ass-kiss at this point. Unless you've actually learned things you never thought you would learn, don't tell the professor that!) Tell the professor that you just want to understand the material.

So what is the point? What is this little heart-to-heart going to get you?

1. Increased confidence in speaking to professors (I swear, they don't have fangs!)
2. A better relationship with each professor you speak with (they're far more likely to remember your name and to check in with you when you do well).
3. Improved grades (no really, it actually works).
4. References. Oh, I'm sorry, you didn't think that was going to be a benefit, did you? Professors that you establish relationships with (working relationships, you sick little monkeys) are far more likely to remember you when you take another class with them. If these are classes in your major, that professor could end up being your academic advisor for the remainder of your time at school. By establishing a relationship with the professor NOW, you give them more time to learn your work habits...and more material for a job reference later on.

God I love my job.